Scarlett Sister Mary (1929)

Scarlett Sister Mary is about the shame, and eventual redemption, of Sister Mary.  The story takes place in the deep south in the early 1900s, among a black community living on an old plantation. 

Sister Mary is a member of the church, but when she dances on her wedding night, she is kicked out.  When her husband soon leaves her, her shame truly begins.  She wants to be a member of the church, but she can’t resist the life of sin and pleasure that she truly enjoys.  As the years pass, her struggle becomes more acute, ultimately reaching a climax.

This book is interesting in that it gives an incredibly detailed inside look at a culture most people are not familiar with.  I’m sure that’s why it won the Pulitzer.  It’s fascinating to read about the family traditions, birthing rituals and church society of that culture.  In some ways that culture is very far removed from our own, but that makes the similarities all the more remarkable.  Their wedding traditions are a simpler version of our own, modern traditions; their birthing rituals could be the template for the natural birth movement; and the dogmatic, fundamentalist church, while in many ways foreign to a modern reader, is also very similar to some modern-day churches.

On the whole, though, I wouldn’t recommend the book.  The story is antiquated and the plot would likely seem bland to most readers.  It’s not bad, it’s just probably not worth your time when there are so many amazing books to read.

Mindfulness Exercises: Say Yes

This exercise, “Say Yes”, was to say yes to everyone and everything that happens in your life.

I gave myself two weeks with this exercise because it was exactly what I needed right now.  I have been struggling with depression over the last month or so, and that inevitably comes with a heavy dose of negativity.  Everything seems more difficult or even impossible.  I needed to say yes to my circumstances and to my future.

Of course, my mind still tended towards negativity much of the time, but I did say yes on a few very important occasions.  Sometimes it was simple, like saying yes when David offered to take Adeline to daycare in the morning.  Normally I would have declined his help, done it myself, and stressed about it the entire time (sitting in traffic for double the time, losing an extra hour from the time I was supposed to have to work, etc).  But instead, I said yes.  And it has made a difference.

Sometimes it was more profound, like saying yes to getting help for my depression.  The very act of admitting you need help is the hardest part.  It’s much easier to say no and to go on with the status quo.  But it’s much better for your life if you can manage to say yes.

What can you say yes to in your life?

This week’s exercise is “See the Color Blue: Become aware of the color blue wherever it appears in your environment.”

Mindfulness Exercises: Rest Your Hands

This week’s exercise was to relax your hands completely and be mindful of your hands at rest.

When I’m reading a book, I constantly thumb through the pages.  When I watch T.V., I pick at the skin around my fingernails.  When I sit on the floor playing with Adeline, I tap out rhythms on toys. When I wait in line at the store, I check my iphone.  When I walk down the street I click my fingernails and my thumbnails together.  In other words: I never stop moving my hands!

I already knew that I’m a fidgety person, but this exercise opened my eyes to just how incredibly fidgety I am.  The above list doesn’t even take into account the constant fidgeting I do with my legs and feet: shaking my legs, tapping rhythms with my feet, crinkling my toes.  I’m constantly moving.

I actually don’t mind that as a general matter.  For one thing, I think it keeps my metabolism up, and I’m ok with that.  And also, I think it keeps my general energy level up.  It helps keep me awake when I might otherwise be flagging on a long day.

But I can also see the value in taking time to relax every now and then.  And this exercise definitely helped with that.  When I actually remembered to do it and managed to relax my hands, I found that the rest of my body automatically relaxed.  My breathing slowed down, any tension I was holding in my shoulders or chest melted away and my mind calmed.  It’s amazing that just the act of resting your hands would have such an impact on the rest of your body, but it really did.  I’ll keep this exercise in mind for days when I just can’t slow down.

This week’s exercise is: “Say Yes: whenever it’s not dangerous to do so, say yes to everyone and everything that happens in your life.”